Busted Wii Straps? Bogus!

So I recently bought a Wii.

Plainly, this does not make me unique.

What might make me unique, however, is that I've yet to throw my "Wiimote" through a drinking glass, picture window, television or flat panel display. I've yet to injure myself using it, despite playing Wii Sports: Tennis in a manner that might generously be described as "strenuous." I'm not going to link to any of the pictures from the last couple of weeks, partly because I'm too lazy to hunt them up, and partly because if you're here and reading this, you've probably seen them.

Well, when Nintendo announced today that they'll send you free replacement straps with thicker 1mm connector loops, I got curious. What, exactly, does it take to break a Wii strap?

SPOILER: More than you think, I'll guarantee.

My friend chsty pointed me at one guy's nonscientifice experiment, which suggests an approximate breakpoint of "a sh*tload." I'm paraphrasing, of course. I figured that since I had two spare straps, plus a pair of new ones coming from Nintendo, I could afford to sacrifice one of mine in the name of science. Or at least in the name of a mildly interesting way to waste a few minutes.

I put two chairs back to back about two feet apart, got a good thick-handled broom, and placed it over the backs. Et voilá, my suspension platform. Then I got my Wii strap (goodbye, little buddy), an old leather belt, and my dumbbell weights. I connected the strap to the belt buckle, looping it the same way it attaches to the Wiimote, and started hanging weights from the belt.

I started with the two basic 5 lb. weights, viz:



Obviously, ten pounds wasn't going to put much of a strain on this sucker. I had figured as much. Another fiver:



Null perspiration. Twenty?



The rig creaked slightly, but otherwise showed no ill effects. The actual wrist strap was plainly stretching by this point, and I set the weights on with a bit more care. But it didn't show any signs of breaking. Unfortunately, I was out of five pound weights. On to the 2.5 pounders. A pair brought me up to 25 pounds total.



Again with the creaking, but no breakage. This was beginning to feel heavy-ish, so I moved more slowly, adding one 2.5 pounder.



At 27.5 pounds, things started to seem noticeably strained. I added one more 2.5 pounder, and set the rig in place with a little less care than I meant to. The loop snapped!

So it took 30 pounds of iron to break the Wii strap. Or, in more visual terms, this pile:



I think, had I set the 30 lb weight on the loop more carefully, it might have held it. As it was, I dropped it a bit, and it broke. So fine...we know the loop will hold a minimum of 27.5 pounds before the cord breaks.

What does this mean in real terms?

Frankly, I can't tell you at the moment. The Wiimote strap is about 10 inches long (or at least mine was after all the weight on it), and the Wiimote itself weighs roughly five ounces with batteries and a glove:



So how fast to you need to move a five-ounce weight on a ten-inch line to produce 30 pounds of force at the end of the line? Damned if I know...I got a D in high school physics, lo these many moons ago. But I think we could place it safely in the range of "pretty damned fast." I've asked some people who should know, and I'll post here when they answer.

In the meantime, though. Here's my opinion: Many, if not most of these goobers claiming "My strap broke and my Wiimote broke my $5000 plasma TV!" are, in fact, full of it. This is just my opinion, of course. But for starters, if you paid $5000 for a TV, and then you're dumb enough to throw stuff around in close proximity to it, you deserve what you get.

Beyond that, though, I don't see how most people could reasonably generate enough force to exceed to Wiimote strap's strength. I may be proved wrong when my physics-savvy friends send me their answers, but for now I'm guessing that most of the above-referenced goobers are, in fact, guilty of not wearing the wrist strap. Like every single game and the Wii documentation admonish you repeatedly to do.

And I'm enough of a misanthrope not to put it past some of these people to be lying, hoping Nintendo will replace their TVs and windows. Looks like a new strap is the best you can hope for.